#like 'it's not our time now but maybe someday it will be'
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drarryspecificrecs · 2 days ago
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2025.01 ~ Top 9 longest fics posted on AO3
1. First Watch of Night by @tackytigerfic [E, 273k]
Harry Potter defeated Voldemort at the Battle of Hogwarts on May 2nd, 1998. But what if he didn't?
2. Quidditch Notes by @hajinjin13 [T, 227k]
Draco Malfoy never thought the Dark Lord might actually return someday and now that he has, there are only two choices. Instead of playing along like a good little boy, Draco turns spy on his father for Order protection and interrupts Harry's breakfast to tell him so.
3. Indigo by @setissma [E, 129k]
Draco had at least four folders open on his desk, at least one of which contained a number of graphic photographs of a homicide scene. He sighed. “I’m in the middle of this. And the fact that they’re willing to let me verify it is, in fact, an indication that they’re telling the truth.” [...]
4. Call Out My Name by paraphaxis [E, 71k]
Within a different magical community led by a tyrant called Tom Riddle, there were two families desperate to put an end to these dreadful times: the Potters and the Malfoys. The chance was small, but it existed. Their children were what they called "The Chosen Ones", endowed with impressive magic and a slightly questionable character, they were the only ones who could put an end to Tom Riddle, without them, the magical world would be overthrown. [...]
5. A Living Death by chrysaetius [T, 69k]
Returning to Hogwarts was supposed to be a fresh start, a step toward normalcy after the war. But for Draco Malfoy, normal is a distant memory. An inexplicable curse shields him—no spell, hex, or jinx can touch him. His peers murmur of dark deals and magic, branding him an outcast in a place meant to be a sanctuary. Only Harry Potter seems unmoved by the rumors, yet he alone holds the unsettling power to break through Draco’s immunity. And... some secrets are buried deeper than they ever imagined.
6. The Aftermath is Legendary by JoiBoy [M, 49k]
Draco does time in Azkaban. The aftermath is legendary.
7. Forever Mine by Toffeemond [E, 47k]
[...] « I'm pretty sure we decided to put a stop to… whatever this is, » Draco gestured between them. « No, you decided all on your own, » Harry slowly walked up to him, his smile intact but a dangerous glint shining in his bright green eyes. « I never agreed to anything. »
8. I Dreamt of King's Cross Station by SusanMort [T, 44k]
This is a story about healing.
9. i think that possibly, maybe i'm falling for you by @cr-amber [E, 42k]
Harry runs into Draco working at a coffee shop fifteen years after the war, and he’s nothing like Harry remembers.
※ Word count: 1k ~ 15k
※ Word count: 15k ~ 40k
Another Wandshop Story by LittleFear [E, 17k]
Aren't We in a Pickle? by @reloumi [E, 20k]
bright as the morning (soft as the rain) by indizzlerizzle [T, 18k]
Draco Malfoy is Not a Girl by @duchessdulce [T, 22k]
Hearts Like Ours by @upon-poppyhills [E, 21k]
Life Is The Messy Bits by slytherflower [T, 32k]
No Children by @fluxherbaria [E, 33k] *typo
One Good Thing by @leyliu [T, 15k]
We've Always Been Drowning by DracoAbraxas [T, 22k]
You're My Boyfriend Now by LaughterLoveAndLarry [E, 19k]
Ongoing Fest/Exchange
※ Fics would be listed elsewhere.
DCC Kinkuary 2025
Drarry Ass Fest (1)
Drarry Week 2025 | @drarry-week (1)
Tortured Poets’ Gift Exchange (New Year’s Version)
Wizarding Society's Fests Music Wrap-up 2024 | @wizardingsocietyfests (1)
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cillians-sweetheart · 2 days ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/cillians-sweetheart/772157725448847360/whos-got-fic-ideas-i-got-writers
Maybe Cills with a younger reader (25-35 ish?) and they actually decided not to have more children but she gets accidentally pregnant? But of angst but ends with fluff? Sorry very basic 😭
Not basic! Love it!! 😋 And I hope you love it too!
A Miracle Arrival - Cillian Murphy
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Cillian Murphy(36) x Wife!Reader(25)
Plot: After a date night, Y/N and Cillian put the kids to bed and have some well needed alone time that ends in an unexpected surprise.
Content: kissing, slight sexual content, speak of menstruation, marriage, kids, pregnancy, emotional melt down (f), fluff
During our four years of marriage, people would expect that after a few months, our desires towards each other would just disappear and we wouldn't crave to touch each other day to day. But that wasn’t the case. In a marriage between two heavily passionate lovers meant that our love from our wedding day to today, never changed. Not even fading in the slightest.
Already at age 25, I’ve had 2 beautiful children. The perfect duo of an older daughter (Georgia), and younger son (Christian), ages three and one. Our daughter, now being able to speak full sentences, has begun to develop Cillians accent. But it wasn't surprising as she always took after him, and loved him more than me. And my son is the opposite, a mini me with his looks and attitude.
We decided after having Christian that we were done for children. Having two toddlers was difficult but also I couldn't picture myself going through labour ever again. Two was enough.
On a Friday evening, Cillians mother came by the house to watch the children for a few hours and put them to bed while he and I went out. We learned that monthly dates help keep the spark in our relationship. It wasn’t that we didn’t feel anything towards each other anymore, we just feared that someday that spark would be gone.
“So… I was thinking that after dinner, we would send mom home and just lay low in the bedroom for the night. Yeah?” Cillian offered, holding his glass of wine in his hand. .
“Yes,” I answered, reading through the menu. “I don’t really have the energy for anything fancy. Laying in bed sounds perfect.”
And that’s what we did. At first.
When we got home his mother sat in the living room reading a book, but left shortly after as we were now home. The house was silent and the kids were asleep. We didn’t waste a single moment to finally be lazy after both of our long days.
We changed into comfortable clothes, and cuddled closely beneath the warm duvet. The tv played a show we hadn’t paid attention to and the tension between us grew hotter with each passing moment. And once our single kiss became sloppy and never-ending, the tv came off. As with our clothes.
It all happened so quickly. In just seconds he was above me kissing roughly at my neck, and my legs tightly wrapped around his hips. We didn’t think about anything in the moment, nothing but wanting more from each other's bodies. The pleasure filling both of us made it almost impossible to stay quiet. I had to bite back moans, hiding in his muscular shoulder.
After the hour which felt of 20 minutes, we both fell weak side by side. I didn’t think of anything but just being ready to go to sleep in the arms of the man I loved.
A month went by and life carried on -as usual- I was ‘delightfully’ greeted by an absence of my period. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I’m a week overdue. My heart sank at the possible reason why I was like this. Why I was late, nauseated, and really hungry.
While Cillian was off at work I stopped by the drug store and to the aisle I really didn’t want to be in. With rows and rows of pregnancy tests. I looked over my shoulders and quickly scanned over the several options of tests. I picked the cheapest one to not cause suspicion on Cillian and I’s shared credit card. If it had to come to it, I’d say I bought the kids some candy.
I waited anxiously for the remainder of the day. I was terrified to take that test, but also itching to get an answer. If I were pregnant, I’d need to plan what was going to happen, and if I wasn’t I could’ve been rattled for nothing. So I took the test.
I hid myself in Cillian and I’s bathroom while he made supper for the kids. The test shook from my shaky hands as my eyes squeezed shut waiting for it to be done. And after two minutes, I flipped the little plastic stick towards me. two bright red lines.
My mind went blank. I was in shock, and felt nothing. Until a minute after the fear kicked in and I cried and puked the way I did when pregnant with Christian. All those memories of my fat, stretched skin, and agonzing contractions, came back to me like a bullet to the skull. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t afford another child, nor could my body. How would I ever tell Cillian…
It wasn’t until 5 minutes later I was able to clear my tears. Quickly, I coated my face in concealer to hide the redness to not cause worry to Cillian or our children. I put on an awkward grin and entered the kitchen to where Cillian had been spoon feeding our youngest, and Georgia putting her food everywheres it wasn't supposed to.
“Hey,” He turned his head towards me, standing straight from kneeling on the floor. “You alright?” He asked with a tilt of his head.
“Yeah I just needed to use the bathroom.” I walked past him with a napkin and wiped our daughter's messy face.
Cillian didn’t take any suspicion, and continued to feed Christian and clean the kitchen. He was always so good with them. Like he could hundreds and do perfectly fine. But there was no way I was having a third child. Because it was me that would actually birth them, not him.
After supper with the kids tucked into bed, Cillian and I sat closely on the couch in the living room watching the Tv. My legs laid over his lap and my head rested against his shoulder. His gentle hand lightly stroked my thigh. I began to remember all those feelings from earlier. The fear, the angst, the pain. Tightness grew in my chest and my face turned cold. I was frozen in my spot. Tears welding in my eyes.
My breath being held and my slight shaking caught Cillian’s attention from the Tv. Taking the remote in his hand, he turned the Tv off and turned his face down to mine.”Y/N? Baby.” He took my cheek in his hand and turned me to look at him. “What’s going on?” His voice held concern but tenderness. His thumb lightly rubbing my cheek.
“I um…” I froze up, looking down with a single tear falling from my right eye. I debated in my head with other answers besides the truth to tell him. I dreaded telling him such a thing.
“What love?” His face leaned down closer to mine with sympathy in his eyes.
“I- I’m pregnant.” My eyes fell down to my lap with shame. It became silent for a moment. An unbreakable tension grew heavy between us.
“Are you- Really?” I nodded with another tear rolling down my cheek. “Oh sweetheart.” Cillian pulled me into his chest, holding me while I broke down into the same emotional state I was when pregnant with Georgia and Christian.
Cillian lightly rubbed my belly while his other hand stroked my back.
“I don't know what to do.” I sniffled and choked on my tears. “I can’t do this… I’m already a crap mom, I- I can't have another one!” I said with irritation mostly towards myself.
“No you’re not love.” Cillian cooed, kissing the top of my head.
“But,” I mumbled. “You do so much for them… while I hide in the bathroom.”
He took my face in my hands looking seriously into my eyes. “A real mother is one who is not afraid to have her own space.”
I looked back at Cillian with adoration and nodded at his words. “I just… my body can’t go through this again.”
“Is it your body, or your mind?”
“I don’t even know anymore…”
“Well, I want you to do whatever it is that feels right. Okay?”
“Mhm,” I nodded. “But if I did somehow want to have another… would you mind?” My watery eyes glared up to his.
“Not at all love, I love our children and would love just as many more.” He grinned the same grin that made me fall in love with him for the first time. I felt the warmth and tenderness in his voice. “Do you want another?”
“Well I don’t want to get rid of this one…” I lightly rubbed my lower belly. Cillian’s hand held over top of mine.
“We don’t have to then. I’d be more than happy for another baby.” He kissed my forehead. “If there was anyway they’d turn out like our already beautiful children, then how could I say no.”
I looked up with a warm smile at him. “Oh I love you…” I said lovingly touching his cheek with my hand.
“I love you too my love.”
And nine months later with Cillian at my side, I was handed the most precious baby girl who held my every feature. My twin. She cooed lightly and her eyes twinkled open for the first time in the light. And when those little eyes fully opened, they melted with love seeing my face.
She was so perfect, an angel little girl. And everyday since the day she was born, I thanked Cillian for being the loving husband he is and teaching me to listen to my heart. Because if I hadn’t that day I wouldn’t have had this sweet girl who I later named Mila. My miracle sent from heaven.
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rosemariad · 13 hours ago
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1 Day in Purgatory:
Hey Cas.
Kind of a dick move to ditch me like that, you son of a bitch.
But seriously, thanks for protecting me. You coulda stayed, though. I ain’t as weak as all that. I’ve fought off a few freaks already.
How’s it going for you? Must’ve killed dozens of them by now, huh?
I never cared much for this praying thing. A little too one-sided for my taste.
I missed it when we could talk on the phone. That way, I could actually hear you back.
So, uh…night, I guess.
1 Week in Purgatory:
Heya Cas —Time flies when you’re running for your life, right? It seems that way to me.
It feels like it's been a week, but in some ways, it feels like it's been longer than that.
How many have you killed? I’ve killed about a dozen or so. I feel like John McClane. Or I guess Rambo, just need the headband and machine gun.
Oh, right. You wouldn’t get who I’m talking about. I need to get you to start watching movies.
So, are you alright? I hope you are. That you’re safe.
Don’t worry, Cas. I’m gonna find you. I promise.
1 Month in Purgatory:
Cas, it’s me. See, this whole praying thing—one of the reasons I don’t care for it is its one-sidedness. I never know if you’re listening to me or just tuning me out and ignoring me. Kind of hurtful, just saying. Given how many times I've prayed to you, I feel like I’m owed a response at some point.
Ever since meeting you, I’ve never prayed more. I guess it’s cuz I learned long ago that you don’t just wait for someone to save you—that’s how you die. Usually, you gotta take your life into your own hands and fight for it with all you got. That's how I learned to survive.
Anyway, I met this vampire. His name is Benny. He’s the first thing in this hellhole that hasn’t automatically tried to eat me. Apparently, he knows a way outta here. We’ll see if that isn’t total bullshit. He’s with me right now. I know, I know. Trusting a vamp? What am I thinking? But it’s better than being alone, stuck with only my thoughts worrying over you.
I hope you’re okay. Please be okay.
I’m gonna find you, Cas. I ain’t leaving here without you.
6 Months in Purgatory:
I've lost count of how many days I've been stuck here. But I ain't leaving you, Cas. Why do you keep running away, huh? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me. The lack of response ain't helping. Sucks that this is a one-way line.
As gnarly as this place is, though, it's simpler than Earth. Black and white. Haven't been able to see things like that in a while. It's pure in a way. I fight monsters. Don't have much time to think or do much else. Rest and fight, that's it. Fighting’s what I'm best at anyway.
I miss Earth. I miss Sam. Drinking, fooling around and driving. Sam better be looking after my Baby.
But this place is pure, that’s for sure.
Don't have to worry about nothing else but fighting off monsters. It's been a long time since my life has been so simple. No offense Cas, but meeting you made my life so complicated.
Where are you, man?
You know, when I settle down somewhere quiet, I get restless, but there ain't no room for that here. I hate it here, but I don't. I hate it cuz these hungry sons of bitches don't let up.
I hate it cuz you keep running from me, and I can never catch you.
But I like the woods, the quiet. It's unnerving and peaceful at the same time. Well, it would be if not for all the monsters. Maybe I should get a cabin of my own someday…
You know, if I ever catch up to you, we'll make quite a team. These mooks won't stand a chance: you, me and Benny.
9 Months in Purgatory:
You probably know how long we've been here in Purgatory land, right, Cas? You've always been smart like that. You'd have to be, as old as you are.
How old are you, anyhow? As old as the dinosaurs? Were they real? I never bothered to ask. I should’ve asked you. I should’ve asked you so many things...
Remember when you took me out to see the stars? How d’you know I'd like that shit, huh? And that beer? I've been on the lookout for it ever since you turned me onto it. Apparently, they only sell it in Oregon.
Why'd you do that for me, Cas? Were you feeling guilty about Crowley, then? Or did you just wanna do something nice for me? No one ever does that shit for me…not like that.
Why did you say that shit to the other angels? The crap about not being able to live in a world where I'm gone?
You know I'm only human, right? Someday, I'm gonna die. Never pay it much mind. I know I don't got long though. Hunters never do. My dad bit it at 52. Bobby died at 62. I'm lucky if I last that long. Given the shit I've gotten mixed up in the last couple of years, I'm lucky if I make it past forty.
I'm only still around cuz of you, Cas. Look at how we met. You found me in Hell. I was twenty-nine then. If you hadn't gotten me outta there, I might have stayed there forever. Dead at 29. Ain't that sad?
So why did you say it, Cas?
What am I to you?
Aren't we just friends?
I don't know. I guess you could say what we got is unique. It's hard enough for me to make friends as it is, but the way we met was…fucked up.
I don't let people see me, Cas. That ain't a luxury I got. I can't be weak – ever. But you met me at my worst. That's part of the reason you fucked me up the way you did when you walked into that barn. You were this otherworldly being I coulda sworn was made up, and you knew all this shit about me. You didn't say so, but I knew, like, instinctively.
Shit, I've been praying for a while now, huh…
You must be so ticked off. Well, that's what you get for ditching me in the first place.
Good night, Cas. I'm gonna find you.
Soon.
For anyone who was curious about the prayers Dean might’ve made to Cas during their time in Purgatory, my imagination got away from me 😅
Source: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61591894/chapters/157467775
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daeniradraconis · 12 hours ago
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The Starting Lineup - Auston Matthews
So this is just a little blurb because I saw an Auston interview where he said he wants to be a coach for his future little girl’s team… and my mind immediately went there. 🥺 My hormones can’t handle it.
Big, tough Auston Matthews holding his tiny baby girl for the first time? Dreaming about coaching her future team? Being the softest, most loving dad?? Yeah. I had to write this! Enjoy the fluff.:)
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The hospital room was quiet, the soft hum of the machines the only sound besides the steady rhythm of your breath. You lay in the bed, exhausted yet filled with a warmth you’d never experienced before. And there, cradled gently in your husband’s arms, was the tiny miracle you’d both waited for—the beautiful little girl you’d been dreaming of.
Clara.
Auston sat in a chair beside your bed, his huge, strong frame looking almost comical as he held her in his arms. The contrast between him—a thick, powerful hockey player—and the tiny, delicate baby against his chest was striking. Clara looked so small, her little hands curled into fists, her face scrunched up in sleep, safe and warm against her daddy’s bare skin.
"She’s so tiny," Auston whispered, his voice full of awe. He looked down at her with so much tenderness it nearly took your breath away. "I can’t believe she’s ours."
Your heart swelled as you watched him, this man who had always been so strong, so confident, now completely captivated by the tiny person in his arms.
"You’re doing great," you said softly, reaching out to brush a strand of dark hair from his forehead. "She’s already got you wrapped around her little finger."
Auston let out a soft chuckle, but he didn’t even try to deny it. "Yeah… yeah, she does." His voice was thick with emotion.
Then, a new kind of determination sparked in his eyes. "You know," he started, still gazing down at Clara, "I think we need to start a Leafs girls' team."
You raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh? And let me guess—you’re going to be the coach?"
Auston smirked. "Damn right, I am. I’ll make sure Clara has a spot on the roster. We’ll start training as soon as she can walk. Maybe even sooner."
You laughed softly, shaking your head. "You are so serious about this, aren’t you?"
Auston looked up at you then, his expression nothing but love and certainty. "Of course, I am. She’s a Matthews. She’s meant to be a Maple Leaf."
You grinned, leaning back against the pillows. "So let me get this straight. You’re going to create a whole Leafs girls' program just so Clara can play for Toronto someday?"
He nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Exactly. Think about it—Clara Matthews, future Leafs star. I’ll coach her when she’s little, get her skating, teach her everything I know. And then, when she makes it to the pros, I’ll be right there, front row, cheering her on."
You reached out and gently poked at his bicep. "You’re so dramatic."
Auston grinned, shifting Clara slightly so she could rest even closer against him. "Maybe. But I’m serious. I want to be the best dad for her. I want to be there for every moment, every milestone. And if she wants to play hockey, I’ll make sure she has every opportunity." He paused, his voice turning softer. "I just want her to have everything."
Your heart melted right then and there. This was the same Auston who poured everything he had into the game he loved—the same Auston who led his team, took every hit, and fought for every win. But here, holding Clara, he was softer than you had ever seen him.
"You already give her everything," you whispered, reaching for his free hand and squeezing it gently. "She doesn’t need to be a hockey player for that. She just needs you."
Auston’s gaze locked with yours, his expression filled with love so deep it made your breath hitch. "She has me," he promised, squeezing your hand back. "She has both of us. Always."
You smiled, warmth spreading through your chest. "Well, if she does end up playing hockey, she’s going to have the most intense coach ever."
Auston chuckled, looking back down at Clara, who had started making the tiniest sleepy noises. "That’s right. No skipping practice, no slacking. Gotta be tough out there, baby girl."
You rolled your eyes. "She’s literally a few hours old, Auston. Give her a break."
He grinned, pressing the softest kiss to Clara’s forehead. "Fine. But as soon as she can walk, we’re getting her on skates."
You sighed dramatically but couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling in your chest. "You’re impossible."
Auston looked up at you again, his expression turning serious. "No, I’m just really, really thankful." His voice was full of sincerity. "For you. For her. For this family we made."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you leaned over to kiss his temple. "I love you, Auston."
He smiled, his gaze full of love. "I love you more."
You sighed happily, watching as Auston cradled Clara against his chest, completely lost in the moment. His fingers traced gentle circles on her tiny back, his touch so soft it made your heart ache.
"You know…" Auston started, his voice quiet but laced with something mischievous. "I think she needs a little brother. Or maybe a sister. A whole little team, actually."
Your head snapped toward him, eyes wide. "Excuse me? Matthews, I just gave birth hours ago, and you’re already planning a starting lineup?"
Auston grinned, completely unbothered. "I mean… yeah," he admitted shamelessly, brushing his fingers against Clara’s chubby cheek. "Imagine it—Clara leading the offense, little Auston Jr. holding down the blue line, maybe another one in net—"
"Auston!" you gasped, swatting at his arm. "Are you insane? I’m 31, Matty. I can’t just pop out a whole hockey roster. I’m old."
He laughed, shaking his head as he leaned down to press another kiss to Clara’s soft skin. "First of all, you’re not old. You’re just older. And second of all…" He looked up at you with a teasing smirk. "You’d make a perfect MILF."
You groaned, but the warmth in your chest betrayed you. "You are terrible."
Auston chuckled, still staring at Clara like she held the entire world in her tiny hands. "I’m just saying… we make reallycute kids. It’d be a shame to stop at one."
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the fond smile creeping onto your lips. "Let’s just get through this one first, Coach Matthews—then maybe we’ll revisit the topic next year."
Auston smirked. "Fine. But I am drafting for Team Matthews soon, just so you know."
You exhaled a tired but love-filled sigh, sinking back into the pillows. "Unbelievable."
Auston just grinned, holding Clara even closer. "Nah. Just really, really thankful."
And as much as you teased him, as much as you couldn’t help but laugh at his over-the-top ideas, the truth settled deep in your chest.
In that moment, watching your husband—this massive, strong hockey player—hold your daughter like she was the most fragile thing in the world, you realized something.
Auston Matthews might be known for his power on the ice, but the way he was with Clara? Soft, loving, completely in awe of this tiny human you’d made together.
It was the most perfect thing you'd ever seen, and you knew, no matter how many kids, no matter the chaos ahead, that this—right here—was everything you could ever need.
You leaned back into your pillows, your heart fuller than you thought possible. "You really are perfect, Matty," you whispered.
He glanced up at you, his eyes full of love, and for a moment, it was just the three of you. You, him, and your little girl.
And you couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest person alive.
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
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compacflt · 2 years ago
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wip wednesday: going thru my corny arc
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months ago
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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over
#blue chatter#trying to work on not doing this#and just enjoying the thing in the moment#this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such#like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried#because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home#and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow#because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment#had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person#my friends themselves would have been very different people#I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again#because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary#I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future#but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted#and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them#and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.
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venacesaur · 5 months ago
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It hurts again and again that the only person I can save is myself
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cathymee · 15 days ago
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me when i have 4 hours to finish a project before submission
#watching the widows' war finale. sighing every 20 seconds#well :/ idk what else to say. wasted potential. rushed. cheap. i mean come on the green screen...did the writers forget that earth exists#like girl this isn't the mcu. drive to a nearby lake or whatever. acting like all of our bodies of water r getting seized by china#it's soooo bad omg they couldn't even take the time to edit it nicely tanginaaaaaaa HAGHAGHAGHGSHAGSHA#they el fili'd the shit w/cairo & rico. the reveal was already lacking & now they just..killed them off. easy. the thing is that the reveal#doesn't feel like. a reveal only. it felt like a build up; this is the start. this is when they're about to get to the depths of it#because the stories that lead up to it - the stories of the miners & the families - felt scattered throughout the show. as if they're-#planning to someday give the full picture. explain all of it in a bigger context. like there is Going To Be Something Else.#but now it's just....that. the killers dumping their stories. which btw i thought was so stupid bc couldn't u all have at least moved to ur#hideout or whatever b4 doing that. like why r u still hanging out in there hello??? move!!!1!!!!11!#also how tf did they retrieve amando from the hospital???? and when????????????????????#they're shit at making poison bc what did they put in there that only killed the palacios siblings & had everyone else survive it#& if jericho was so serious about killing everyone off couldn't he have shot them also?? just to be sure?? have it trace back to amando#like r u even interested :/ in ur own plan. :/ how sure was he that the poison was gonna work. bc u're bad at math dude everybody lived#rico didn't deserve that ending tbh :( like all of that just to get shot and die in 5 seconds#they had the chance to tell the most interesting story with what they had but they just resorted to 'hey revenge is not nice :('#did they learn nothing from luigi. or the edsa rev '86 /hj but seriously omg that can't just be it#i also wonder wht zig dulay feels bc dang. i feel like he'd b frustrated af w.his creative perfectionist self#& the actors as well i know they're so PR and so clean and they have to be. but i wish they'd have the chance to speak about it candidly#i feel so bad for the writers behind it too tbh i really reallyyy really feel like this isn't how they wanted it to be#I'M STILL CRYING OVER THE GREEN SCREEN ASHAGHAGSA maaaan if i had the free time to create gifsets. bc come onnnn compare this bullshit#to the iconic cinematography it was known for at first. summarizes the downfall of this show so well#filipino high school students are out here creating the best short films/film trailers for their school projects with the best film editing#u've ever seen in ur entire life. & then a tv show w a million peso budget just offered us this#i am sooo gonna do the gifset as soon as i have the free time to edit again lmfaoooooo#okay beyond the green screen thing. i don't think sam's death did anything to the narrative#ik it's like the series' trademark to leave a mystery by the end to signal a sequel but. idk. maybe i'm too fatigued by the shitty#execution of literally everything in the show but it's really just unnecessary#they rlly could've just killed everyone off like that's the only actually fitting ending i fear 💔#widows' war
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glasseater-3000 · 26 days ago
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ykw sometimes its better to just cancel the show
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#s/he speaks#yes this is abt killing eve#(no i still havent gotten to the end it just keeps getting worse....... im here for the helene and villaneve scenes only atp)#and specifically the parallels between it and nbc hannibal#im gonna try to not go off too much bc i have enough thought to turn this into a 5 page essay#but basically#1. i feel like i dont even need to say this but if what happened to a show as popular as ke instead happened to a show a male oriented show#esp one with gay main characters. all of the writers would be in witness protection rn the backlash would have been deadly#2. besides the obvious point of misogyny and lesbophobia/hatred? discomfort? disinterest? with f/f relationships#it genuinely would have been better in the long term for ke to have ended on s3#i dont like s3 all that much but even w that being said it would have been 1000x better if it just. ended at the bridge scene#and now w the parallels to hannibal - a good chunk of what keeps hannibal alive even today (besides the great story characters etc etc)#is the fact that it was cancelled with an ambiguous ending. its the perfect recipe for endless fanfics and keeping the audience alive#by keeping them hoping that *maybe* someday there will be more to come no matter how unrealistic the expectation is#meanwhile w killing eve the fact that it is officially over there is no hope#our s4 *is there*. its there and its shit and we just have to live with it because there are no second chances#sure ppl can and do write fanfics abt alt endings and ppl still make edits n whatnot but it feels like the fandom is just dead/dying#bc any and all memory of even the best parts of the show gets tainted by the knowledge of how it ends and of how badly they fumbled it#and even worse when you KNOW it didnt have to be like that. it could have been good. and yet#idk. i said id keep this short but im still rambling i just have a lot of thoughts#i wanna post ke stuff but this is just killing any enthusiasm i had for the show so far#which is so fucking stupid bc i love it even with the shit last season and i cherish it sm its one of my all time favs im just devastated t#and esp as an excath and bi woman. s4 feels like a straight up personal attack on my own bs that i was forced to deal w#i wish women got better media i wish shows focused almost exclusively on women more i wish there were more morally grey/evil mc women#i wish representation of bi/les women existed outside of sanitized desexualized “pure bean” femxfem media#(tumblr deleted half my tags so rewriting) idk i just wish this type of show wasnt so fucking rare and that woman centred media wasnt so#“softened down” ig??? idk how to describe it but it just feels like theres no way to get any dark/gritty female media w/o it having like.#a shit ton of misogynistic violence sexualization and sa. esp when you add f/f pairings in it#like can we be fucking happy. for once. pls#rant over ig
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transgaysex · 1 year ago
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biggest fool on earth
#wind howls#my stupid ass thought act 2 started after i pass thru the mountain pass. it does not.#it seems im a ways away still....... sigh............#well. its 8 am and im tired. so i will sleep. and perhaps someday i will reach act 2 proper.#my foolish self thought maybe i could finish the game before i start college again. but i think 2 weeks wont be enough#not at the rate im going at the very least.... sigh#well. ill do the most i can. and try to spill my time as little as possible once classes start if it comes to that#i really dont wanna relive the rush i went thru this past finals season. that sucked so hard even if part of it were the strikes too#at least the strikes seem to have been resolved afaik. so hopefully the teavhers will start getting paid proper#and maybe this means well get even better equipment in our classes someday... thatd be really really nice#best case scenario would be the school paying our adobe licenses so i can use the programs at home for free-#instead of only paying those programs for the school computers instead... thatd be nice#oh my god im drawinf a blank. whats the probPREMIERE PRO#premiere pro. i have to learn to crack premiere pro. bc im not fucking paying for that. but i like the ui. and my usage is simple#but vsdc sucks shit...#theres the other free one i could use also. the . well i forgot the name. i tired before but i got confused but#now that i got an editing class proper... i think i could manage it a lot better. im sure of it.#either way its super late or really early and both spell sleep for me. so sleep i will.
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simpjaes · 4 months ago
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REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ― S.JY
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What should have never been an option became a routine over the years. This year is different though. It’s time to face what’s been done and put an end to it for good…except your step-brother Jake isn’t ready to face it, and your little boyfriend isn’t going to stand in the way of getting what he wants either.  or the one where you made a bad decision in fooling around with your step-brother during your early college days and he refuses to let you put an end to it. 
leave feedback and reblog to support me please! 
minors do not interact. 
WORDCOUNT― 8.9k
PAIRING― step-brother jake sim x afab reader (ft. boyfriend sunghoon)
WARNINGS ― step cest, dub-con/non-con, blackmail, nonconsensual phone sex 
NOTE― MIND. THE. WARNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO, shoutout to anon for giving me this idea.reminder that this is not a representation of me or the idols as real life people. anyway, not proof read.
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― non con/dub con, normal size dick jake and mentions of bigger dick sunghoon, implications from jake that sunghoon is actually gay for him, camera use, fisting, degradation, manipulation, phone sex-ish, choking, suffocation, cum stuffing, cream pie, unprotected sex, forced blowjob, crying, break-up implications
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“You’re being ridiculous.” Jake scoffs, leaning against your bedroom dresser with his arms crossed. “We did it last summer, why is this year any different? We always do it.” 
You roll your eyes at him in an attempt to hide the guilt you feel, holding the blanket tightly to your chest in case he tries to pull them off of you again. Jake knows damn well why. Not only should it not have happened last year, or the year before that, or the year before that, but to actively and truly believe it’s something that can continue is something only a mad man would think. 
Not to mention, you have a boyfriend now. A real boyfriend, one who matters in your life.
“Sunghoon have anything to do with this?” He questions you now, reaching for the blanket and tugging. “Come on, playing around isn’t gonna hurt anything. It’s not like anyone is going to know anyway–” 
You huff, yanking your blanket up a bit to pull it from his grasp again. You get why he’s asking and why he’s confused because, well, last summer you were all over the idea like usual. You knew he would expect the same this summer, but honestly, it has to stop. Things have changed. Things needed to change. 
“Jake, we can’t be doing that stuff anymore.” You say as if it’s fine, a bite to your voice that hits him right in the gut. 
In all honesty though, you really do feel guilty. Like you’ve led him on all these years with his sweet, borderline boyfriendly words. You lived in the fantasy with him for a while, like it could work out despite the family ties. There’s a reality though, one that you found yourself living in upon meeting Sunghoon, and there’s a fantasy that you need to pull Jake out of. You feel awful, especially knowing there’s a part of you that would if you could. But…you can’t, nor can he.
Never again. 
Jake feels singled out at this moment. Like he’s the weird one for even asking when you were the one who came onto him when it happened the very first time. All those talks of “we aren’t blood related, it’s not that bad.” and “If our parents divorce, maybe someday we can go on a date or something–” Do they mean nothing now? You’re going to blame him for expecting it?
“Why the fuck not?” He narrows his eyes at you. “Gonna act like you weren’t the one who tried to fuck me at Jay’s party last summer? Acting all high and mighty now, like suddenly it’s so wrong?” 
You look away from him, feeling worse because he’s right. Given, the guilt should have hit you after the first time, but it didn’t. You had your fun pushing boundaries but now that graduation is coming up it’s like..it doesn’t feel right. Did he really just expect the two of you to keep fucking well into adulthood?  Did he expect you to get married to someone else and still get on your knees during family Christmas parties? 
Did he expect to be the one marrying you?
“We have to grow up.” You finally say, shifting your eyes back to him. “This is starting to feel really—gross.” 
“Hey–” He looks at you now, almost pleading. “It’s not gross, we aren’t gross.” He takes two steps towards the bed in a fit of desperation, leaning with his hands now palm-down on your mattress. But…when he tries to follow up on his words, he knows you’re serious.
Realistically, despite having been your step-brother since the beginning of high-school…actively choosing to fuck each other as soon as college started was maybe not the best idea. Hormones were high, the freedom to fuck was blatant, and well…it’s not his fault you’d walk around in all those slutty little pajama shorts and try to jump his bones every time you found yourself alone with him. If anything, you’re the one who pulled him into this. He really did think it was gross at first, but thinking with his dick outweighed that, and then his heart decided to play a part in all of it too. 
He really does think there could be something here if the two of you worked for it. After all, you’re entirely his type, despite marriage ruining it. The breaking of morals eventually became the best part for him, having what his father wishes he could have solely because you’re just a younger, hotter, version of your own mother.
You even said it yourself all that time ago when it first happened. “It’s ok jakey, you’re a guy. guys have needs.” 
Well, what about his needs now?! He was so happy to be able to come home and see you again. He misses you  so much when you’re both away at your respective colleges, and he thinks about you all the time. He should have known that something was changing all those months ago when you stopped texting him back as much as you usually would. Now what? He just has to accept that you’re done?
“You’re seriously not going to give it up?” He pushes his hands under the bottom of your blankets, quickly running his fingers up your legs just to try and encourage a giggle, or a smile from you.
That’s when he notes how you haven’t even shaved your legs. Which, it’s not like he gives two fucks on whether you do or not but like…you always shave. Your skin was always so smooth, plump, soft, and moisturized when you knew you’d be wanting to play around with him. And clearly, you don’t expect to be getting fucked this summer.
Ah, he’s starting to resent you.
“Does that boyfriend of yours know about us?” He finally says, standing tall at the end of your bed and looming much darker than his usual, bright persona. 
You stare at him, eyes widening. 
“Excuse me?” You furrow your brows. “Jake, what the fuck are you sayi–”
Before you can even finish or get a response from him, he’s leaving your bedroom and slamming the door behind him. 
Already you know this is going to be a long fucking summer. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jake knew you were a smart girl. You always believe everything he says, but never once has he used that against you until now. That little mention of Sunghoon seems to have made you panic, and he can’t help but find it endearing that you took his threat so easily. Each time he comes home now, from hanging out with your boyfriend, you’re always sitting on the couch like a cute little puppy greeting him with a wagging tail.
If at all, he knows you’re doing it to try and butter him up. To distract him from what you’re taking away from him. Dangling yourself like nothing has changed but denying him time and time again of it. You’re nice, but never this nice. Offering to hang out, watch movies, go out. You’re promising just about everything to him except for the one thing he needs from you. 
He’s thankful though, with all circumstances considered, that the good ol’ parents don’t notice a shift in how you’re acting solely because the two of you have always been close. Even before the sex stuff. You were his best friend. He protected you from highschool bullies, potential assholes trying to steal your first kiss, virginity, and even the first experience of sneaking out. 
Back then, it’s not like Jake ever wanted to be your first kiss, the one to take said virginity, or sneak you out to parties you shouldn’t be at. Truly, he just wanted to protect you. It wasn’t until the two of you were away from each other for the first time as freshmans in college that he felt some type of way towards you. Which, again, was entirely your fault.
Ah, he still remembers that first summer back home walking into the house and being smacked in the face with a sensual, fruity scent radiating off of you. After not seeing you for three and a half months, he was entirely shocked at how much you had changed. You looked…confident in yourself. Like you’d been growing internally and learning what you want in life. He found it very attractive of you, believing that once you get a boyfriend, they’d be very lucky to have you in their life. 
Then of course, you’d bend over in those shorts and look back at him smirking. Like you only saw him as a man now, and not your protective step brother. You’d whine to him about ruined hook-ups, about the frat parties, about all the guys trying to touch you and wishing he was there to keep them off of you. All while…doing that. All while waltzing around like you’d invite him to do the same. 
And you did invite him. That first night has been burned into his memory. The fear, the guilt, the disgust, the love he felt for you. So quiet in his bedroom, giggling to each other with all the lights off in the silence of his room, trying to pretend it was only a one-time thing to satiate a specific need. There was nothing kinky, nothing weird outside of the dynamic of who you were supposed to be to each other.
It kept happening after that, and each time the guilt would wash away with the sweat that always dripped onto you from his temple. You could even say it was shy at first, both of you were very generous to each other. It only started getting dirty as the summers at home continued. 
And now…nothing? After all of that, nothing?! 
If you think you can change so drastically over a single semester, so be it. Jake can change too, and he already has. Both of you now, entirely different compared to that first summer together. You, all jittery and freaked out, him, with all the power. 
You though, truly you’re fucking panicking. If your boyfriend found out about all of this, he’d think you’re a freak. Or a slut. Or a piece of trash. Maybe all three of those things and then some. And you know, you’d think Jake is bluffing…really. Except you got a text from Sunghoon the same night Jake tried to get in your pants. You remember reading those words, the pit in your stomach digging deep. “Your bro is gonna come hang out with me for a bit, you’re coming too right?”
Nevermind the fact that Sunghoon lives an hour away from your hometown, where the two of you get to meet in the middle during active semesters on campus. What about the fact that Jake barely fucking knows him?! Through mutual friends (Jay and Heeseung) all three of you were aware of each other, but you’re the one who got the closest to Sunghoon. 
You’re his girlfriend now. Which, apparently demoted Jake from popular-porn-trope to actual step-brother. 
And that pisses him off. 
So, is it weird for Sunghoon to get a sudden hang out text from a guy he assumed is just wanting to get to know him? No. After all, he knows Jake is your “brother.” What he doesn’t and hopefully will never know is that you’ve fucked said step-brother.
 Is it weird that you don’t go with Jake to see your own boyfriend? Yes. Unfortunately, Jake basically demanded you “stay in your fucking place. if you wanna get fucked so bad, I’ll be home after.” 
Even Sunghoon doesn’t find it weird and texts you everyday as usual. It sucks actually, that he’s so willing to let you do as you please and trusts you to an extent that he doesn’t even ask why you don’t come with Jake. Instead, he’s too busy saying you should definitely join next time, that Jake is super cool and seems to like him a lot. 
The good news: Sunghoon offers no mention of knowing, so…it seems you really do have to stay at home. Empty. Wanting to be next to Sunghoon so bad but forced to deal with any oncoming feelings alone. 
Since when was Jake even capable of being so awful? Since when did he hate you so much?
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“Jake–please.” You beg quietly, shaking his arm gently in the soft light of the morning. Everyone is sound asleep, which must be fucking nice.
It’s been two weeks now of such loneliness, such lack of sleep, such intense need to just let yourself spiral and drown in anxiety. Jake is barely talking to you now, only giving you sarcastic and evil little smiles from time to time. As if to remind you of what’s at risk. Sunghoon is normal, too normal. So normal, in fact, that he tried to jerk off on facetime last night for you and you ended up crying and apologizing because you couldn’t even get turned on. 
Even if Jake hasn’t told him anything, your relationship is already starting to fall apart because of him. He fucking knows it too. 
“Please,”
“Please, what?” Your step-brother's sleepy voice croaks out, turning himself on the bed towards you with a single half opened eye. 
“I’m losing sleep, please stop doing this to me.”
“No.” He says now, closing his eyes again and turning away from you, nuzzling against his pillow without a care in the world. 
“Please.” 
“Fuck off–” He complains, throwing his arm behind himself to shove you away and surprised to find that you’ve crawled up on the bed with him.
Just like that night so long ago, the first time the two of you broke past any boundaries. 
“I’ll do anything.” You nearly cry, so sleepy, so anxiety ridden, so out of your mind at this point that you genuinely would do anything to feel normal again. 
“Anything?” 
You feel slight relief in his interest, nodding your head aggressively with a broken voice. “Yes! I promise. I swear, anything you want. Please, just–”
“Then get the fuck out of my room.” 
You know better than to disobey at this point. All you can do is sulk back to your room and hope that sleep overtakes you this time. If anything, maybe he will consider your plea in the morning.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
It’s surprising, honestly. Jake didn’t even know he was into seeing you suffer like this, let alone having power over you. He spent so much time protecting you that he never realized how attractive it is to see you fear him. The joy that runs through him now, the orgasms he gets out of it, fuck. Who cares if it’s his own hand doing the work right now? With the thoughts of you doing “anything” like you said, being disgusting, begging, pleading, crying. He might be a little insane for you now, if he wasn’t already. 
And still even today, you look so desperate for any amount of relief. Jake finds joy in the fact that you can’t even go to your boyfriend about it. 
He’s never felt so powerful, truly. Especially now, watching you try to seduce him as if you didn’t deny him of it before. The slutty shorts are back. You’re not wearing bras anymore. You’ll leave the bathroom stark fucking naked if it happens to just be you and him at home.
Ah, heaven on earth. Honestly, his days are so fun now. Save for when he has to hang out with that fucking idiot of a man Sunghoon. What a loser, honestly. Openly sharing all the stuff you’ve done in bed with him like Jake isn’t your step-brother? If anyone is weird, it’s Sunghoon. Hell, Jake isn’t even sure now if the dude would care if he found out that you’ve ridden some related-by-marriage cock before. 
He hates hanging out with him. Always having to hold back the scoffs when Sunghoon is drunkenly slurring out more sex acts you’ve performed on him followed by a love confession and a whine of how much he misses you. As if you didn’t do all of that for Jake first. Ugh, he genuinely can’t believe that you’re even with Sunghoon at all. 
After a little while longer though, with the great days and the annoying hang outs, a nice month into summer vacation– Jake’s been ready to take what he needs. You’ve been begging for it, after all. He loves looking and seeing you so desperate for him to stop the mind games but goddamn it’s getting hard to think straight himself by now.
Thankfully, he’s thinking clearly enough whether it’s through his cock rather than his brain to come up with how he’ll go about it. He waits a little more, cock throbbing in his pants due to not allowing himself to get off in the past two days in preparation for this. 
Every night when everyone goes to bed, you call Sunghoon. And every night, Jake has listened. Tonight though? Sunghoon will be the one listening.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Like clockwork, the parents have gone to bed and Jake hears the hushed muttering just a room over. He’s already standing to his feet, shooting a hand directly to his bulge to adjust it with a silent groan in his throat. Before he can even leave his room he’s rolling his eyes back with another grope of his sensitive cock, almost unable to stop touching himself after denying himself of it. He’s practically drooling at the image of having you all to himself again. The anticipation he feels inside right now is insane. He feels his skin prickle and his eyes are barely able to focus on his own bedroom door out of sheer arousal of what he’s about to do to you.
He composes himself shortly after, as best he can anyway, tiptoeing to your room and chuckling at the way your eyes light up when you see him. He’s ignored you for too long. Not a single response to anything you’ve said to him, hell, he even stopped letting you see him look at you. 
Of course your eyes light up, it means he’s going to stop. It means he’s going to tell you what he wants. 
And you’re happy, even with Sunghoon on the line sweet talking to you about his day like usual. 
“Hoonie, can I call you back?” You ask quickly into the phone, only to see Jake take a seat next to you on your bed and shake his head at you. 
You tilt your head in question, feeling your heart thump in your ears to the point you barely even hear Sunghoon at all. 
“Keep talking to him.” He whispers to you now, nearly just mouthing it. 
You never knew you were so good at reading lips, but you listen to him. Furrowing your brows in question and adjusting your phone against your ear.
“Nevermind, we’re good.” You say in a voice too calm for Jake’s liking. 
And it’s like that for a few minutes as Jake lets you get into the groove of conversing with your boyfriend again before he makes a move. The move he makes? Leaning against you, pressing you back against your pillows, and licking your neck.
He smiles against your skin when he feels it prickle and lets out a whispered chuckle at how much he’s missed the taste of your skin. So warm, so soft. The fact that you’re letting him tells him all he needs to know, despite the way your shoulders stiffen, he knows you’re going to give him anything.
“Gonna let me fuck it again, yeah?” Jake whispers as he moves up against your ear, pinning your arms to your chest, forcing your phone closer to his mouth compared to yours. “Gonna let him hear it too.”
Ah, there she is. You, in all your glory, are already tearing up at the very idea of it. 
“Jake, no.” You say, holding your hand over the speaker and body language trying to twist away from him. 
“You said anything.” Jake corrects you quietly, slapping your hand off of the speaker and quickly thrusting his own hand between your legs.
He chooses not to be gentle with you this time. He’s not going to be what you’re used to, not after that shit you tried to pull with him. His finger pushes in dry, and he smiles at the way you hold your breath and try to squeeze your legs shut to stop him. Sunghoon on the other end is muffled, but still heard by both of you. 
You stay silent throughout his ministrations, pissing him off further, only making him move his hand faster, forcing a reaction, daring you to stop him. 
“Phone.” Jake instructs, loosening his other grip on your hands as a means to let you raise the phone back up to your ear. “Talk.”
You stare at him, feeling the burning between your legs of where your body has yet to do anything more than tighten around his fingers. Still, they drag painfully due to your body feeling no pleasure in this. In fact, you’re afraid. 
You’re afraid Sunghoon will find out, afraid of Jake, afraid of showing that you like what he’s doing, afraid of realizing you’ll always like this, afraid of losing either of them solely because you can only love, fuck, and be with one of them.
And it’s obvious who the one has to be because…the other isn’t possible. It’s just not. 
So, you try. You try to talk, try to relax, try to do everything Jake asks of you solely to prolong the situation enough to where you can find a way to put a proper, healthy end to it. 
“I’m sorry, what was that?” You finally croak into the phone, having not heard a single word from Sunghoon this entire time and trying not to focus on that same drag Jake only pushes harder into you with that terrifying smirk. 
“I asked if that was Jake I just heard–” Sunghoon responded as brightly as always, bless him. 
“Speaker.” Jake mouths to you, and of course you listen. Reluctantly, but you still do it, shaking fingers hitting the speaker-phone button so Jake can hear what’s being said.
“What are you guys doing? Let me hear what?” Sunghoon continues. 
Jake flashes a full grin at you and wiggles his eyebrows before he’s pulling his fingers out, sucking them into his mouth, then moving back down with three before shoving them back in with even more force. 
“Yeah– Tell him.” Jake says as casually as ever. “Go on, let him in on the secret we’ve been keeping from him.” 
Sunghoon hears Jake all too well, but doesn’t question that it’s anything weird. If at all, he wonders if maybe you two have been planning something behind his back considering you never come over when Jake does. Which is actually weird, but he tried not to question it. He and you are practically attached at the hip during the semesters, so, this would make sense. 
Of course there is a secret surprise for him! 
“I–” You yelp both out of pain and unintentional pleasure, cutting yourself off in a gasp. 
You can feel the pit in your stomach dig deeper and deeper, arousing you when it’s the last thing you could ever want at this moment. You know Jake feels it though, with the slide of his fingers becoming easier, and that permanent smile on his face. 
Sunghoon feels so far away right now…Like, who are you kidding? He can’t get you out of this and you doubt he’d even want to if you were to ever even consider explaining it to him. 
“I–I miss you a lot.” You try to come up with words, missing him being all that you can muster up right now. 
Unfortunately, Jake’s scary smile is less terrifying compared to his face now, where he narrows his eyes and glares straight through you for saying such a thing in front of him. He’s trying to crowd four fingers into you now, making you squirm and squeeze your legs together again. He is quick to disallow you though, forcing one of your legs open with his shoulder and spitting directly on your stretched and pulsing hole. 
“I miss you too baby–” Sunghoon says in a slightly confused voice. “What else?”
You pause, taking a moment to feel Jake between your legs and how much it…god, it feels so good. But– you’re unsure of how to balance speaking with Sunghoon and dealing with Jake right now. If you have to deal with them both at the same time…this isn’t what you’d prefer. 
“I wish you were here right now.” 
Sunghoon smiles on his end, assuming Jake has now left your room due to the silence and lack of hearing him now. 
“Is Jake still around?” He mutters to you through the speaker, because based on your tone of voice, he knows what mood you’re in.
Jake shakes his head at you, encouraging that you lie before focusing back on watching the hole he’s missed so much. The one Sunghoon’s probably played with before, that fucking loser. 
“Nope–J–Just me!” You find yourself forcing a smile as you say it, just to hope your voice comes out in a way that sounds brighter than it feels. 
“You wish I was there?” Sunghoon says now, his own voice growing deeper. “Why’s that?” He spreads his legs out wide against his bed, assuming it’s about to be a regular session of facetime fucking. 
“Mhm,” You accidentally moan, a bit too obvious. “Just feel safe with you when I’m feeling like this.”
Jake rolls his eyes, slowly forcing his thumb in beside the rest of his fingers, growing more angry, more aroused, and more insatiable towards you. 
“How are you feeling right now baby?” 
“Empty.” 
“Wish you were full of something?” Sunghoon smiles, a cheeky voice calling out to you. “Of me?”
You groan at that moment, all of Jake’s fingers stretch you open until you feel knuckles trying to force past the boundary. Your hands shake at the feeling as your eyes cross momentarily, tears prickle from the pain but it feels so…good. And only a moment goes by before you, quite literally, kick Jake away. 
The sudden emptiness you get from that feels so much better, but Jake is too quick to get back up. Fire in his dark eyes as he grabs you by the ankles and pulls you roughly down the bed. There is a small sound that escapes your lips at the action, almost a giggle. You’re quick to tighten your lips though, trying to will your body to stop liking the way Jake is being with you right now. You don’t want this, you don’t like it. You never should have in the first place, and to be honest, you’re trying to force yourself to believe you’re making the right choice in continuing to deny him of this.
It’s only natural that your body wants it, just like it was natural to kick him off of you from the pain, right? And then, Jake reminds you of just how much you regret denying him the first night back home, because he's leaning over you so fast, hugging your waist and forcing all five fingers back into you. 
You kick, squirm, whine, and ultimately shout out a “No, no, no!” despite your hips chasing up to let him, almost to invite him. And–oh, fuck. You forgot Sunghoon can hear all of this. 
“Baby?” Sunghoon’s voice rings back in your ears. “Are you okay? You’re already touching yourself? Why do you sound so–” 
Jake’s own ears are ringing watching your body fight your brain. You still want him. He can tell by the way you look at him with those tear-filled eyes, with the way your pussy is dripping for this, the way your hips beg him to keep abusing you. Who is he to deny you? He has never denied you pleasure. So, he tries to force more, more, more into you. There’s a boundary here, your pussy clenched so tight around his fingers already, but you want him to keep pushing until he breaks the boundary. You want to feel the pain of it and…finally, he does get it in. His entire hand being gripped so tightly that even he seethes out a pained moan for you.
“Fuck–” He holds his fist in place, removing himself from your waist to look at you. “You really took it all.”
There’s tears in your eyes by this point and you can’t tell if it’s from realizing how much you need Jake, or the fact that Sunghoon definitely knows something is up. No words are coming out though, you’re more afraid to speak what you feel than you are of Jake right now.
“Jake?” Sunghoon questions, confused. 
“Yeah, what’s up?” Jake responds with a smile instantly, staring right at you as he begins to fuck a size far too big into you, watching you bite your tongue to keep from showing him how much you love it. 
“Wait–” Sunghoon continues with a pause. “What’s going on?” 
“I couldn’t help myself.” Jake smiles at you, wiggling his eyebrows again. “After all those things you told me about her, I guess I needed to see for myself.” 
And then, you moan. That searing pain inside of you somehow subsides, shaking legs and hands are gripping onto Jake in his entirety now, you’re practically drooling for it.
“I guess you were right.” Jake continues. “She really can take a lot, huh? Bet your dick didn’t feel this good for her though.”
You’re truly unable to comprehend most of what’s happening right now, even the phone vibrating in your hand as Sunghoon goes silent and instead, hangs up before instantly facetiming you. You’re so hyper-fixated on the feeling of knuckles dragging against your tightly clenched walls, choking back every sound or word you want to scream out. 
Jake watches as you cry a bit harder now, probably a bit too overwhelmed with the situation. Like the good step-brother he is though, He’ll take care of it for you, of course he will. 
“What’s the hold up?” Jake laughs, halting his hand as he reaches for the phone and instantly answers it. He stares down as you continue to fuck yourself on it, smiling at your brief whine before he speaks into the receiver with a confident voice. “Cat’s outta the bag.”
Sunghoon is there on the screen, witnessing the way Jake angles the phone more at himself and your hole than your face. His entire fist has disappeared inside of you, glistening with a sticky mess that spills out of you. 
Nothing else is said as Sunghoon stares at it. Jake being a cocky bastard and sticking his tongue out like some idiot frat boy, and then? He hears you.
“Jake, stop!” You cry out. 
He doesn’t stop, in fact, he fucks his fist into you quickly making damn sure Sunghoon can not only see how your wet spurts out around his wrist, but hear it too. 
“Stop what? Showing your boyfriend what you really want?” 
“Hang up the phone!” You cry out again, showing Sunghoon that perhaps…you don’t miss him at all.
Jake isn’t doing anything you don’t want. You just don’t want your boyfriend to witness you be so honest with yourself. 
“Awh,” Jake pouts now, angling the phone back at himself and feeling proud of the way Sunghoon appears to be entirely shocked, mouth hung open, eyebrows furrowed. “But he needed to know, baby, didn’t he?” He adds now, lying the phone down briefly to pull his cock out. 
“Come on now, don’t be shy.” Jake continues with his confidence, picking the phone back up and angling it towards you. 
He intentionally drags his fist in and out of you a few more times before gently pulling it out, moaning at the way it sounds, obsessing over it really. Sunghoon watches in horror at the way you squeeze your eyes shut, sadly wondering what Jake must be doing off screen for you to look so fucking guilty. The horror only grows when he has to watch Jake’s cock come on screen, pussy soaked hand jerking himself off before shoving the head right against your lips.
God, you know Sunghoon hates you now. 
Jake knows it too, and doesn’t care as he uses that same soaked hand and pries your lips apart before pushing it into your mouth. He thrusts forward too quick for you to take a breath, and you feel the leaking tip hit the back of your throat in a way that makes you choke and gag around him. 
Your eyes shoot open, looking up at him and barely able to comprehend the camera just inches from your face. 
Sunghoon has seen you look up at him like this too. Why aren’t you fighting Jake though? Why are you willingly gagging, choking, and drooling all over yourself with such a forceful fuck to your face? You always pull off of him when he tries to thrust even a little bit…but you’re..
“I–” Sunghoon goes to say, still staring at you and the way you’re shamefully getting your mouth fucked open. “That is fucking disgusting.” He finally lets out, but he can’t look away. He doesn’t want to see this but…he can’t bring himself to hang up. 
“Yeah, that’s what she thinks too.” Jake chuckles with a heaved breath, enjoying himself, now angling the phone at his face. “I think she likes it though– wouldn’t you agree?”
There goes the camera again, pointing right at your choking mouth. Jake pushes all the way in too, letting your nose rest against his pelvis and moaning loudly for Sunghoon to hear.
“Shit, see? She’s not even fighting it.”
Sunghoon can’t tell only because Jake doesn’t let him. You’re gripping Jake’s hips and trying to push him out of your mouth, but he stays in place, enjoying the way your choking and suffocating throat jerks him off better than his own hand ever could. 
The best part? He knows you’re only pushing him away to breathe because you weren’t fighting at all at first. In fact, he felt you silently hum against him like you want his cock so bad. So, he’s not actually lying. He just thinks it’s polite to not let Sunghoon know how you’re suffocating right now. 
Oh well. 
Only after your eyes start to fog over and roll back does Jake pull out, relishing in that wet gasp you lend. He looks down at the phone now, wanting to make sure Sunghoon witnessed all of that before realizing he fucking hung up.
Who the fuck hangs up on imagery like that? Fucking idiot, is what Sunghoon is. 
To be fair though, Sunghoon hung up shortly before Jake pulled out. He had to force himself to do it, because he didn’t quite enjoy the way his cock jumped at the image of his girlfriend letting her step-brother fuck her mouth like that. He’s entirely blindsided. Like, not only are you cheating on him, but he had to see it like that?! In 4k?! God, his stomach would be in knots to catch you like this with anyone, but the fact that it’s with…Jake. Of all people.
You’re fucking your own brother. 
None of that matters to Jake though, nor does it matter to you at this moment as the tears continue to pour from your eyes knowing that Jake did this on purpose and for a reason. It’s insane how kind he is to you now that Sunghoon isn’t watching, actually. Lending you a deep, meaningful kiss before sinking back down the bed and resuming his previous position. 
“You liked this.” He comments, seeing if his hand will still fit, and moaning when it does. “You’re so fucking wet it’s insane.”
God, you know he’s punishing you yet you can’t bring yourself to be mad about it because already you can feel the bubbles in your stomach threaten an orgasm. Proving to both Jake and yourself that…you do like it. Never have you even imagined wanting a whole goddamn fist in you before now but–you more than like it. You love it. 
In fact, feeling his hand dragging in and out of you now makes you forget about the way you nearly just died with a cock in your throat. You’re already moaning again, actually. 
And fuck, you promised you’d do anything to keep this a secret, and while doing that anything for him, no matter how willing, he still fucking told. He fucking showed the dirty acts to the last person on earth you’d ever want to see, hear, or know. The crying is a given, from both the anxiety, the fear, and the pleasure because you can’t stop the oncoming orgasm or the love you have for the man giving it to you either. 
The way he holds you through it should disgust you, with his fist buried so deep your orgasm comes in long, drawn out and painful waves. He grips onto you though, whispering more to himself against your thigh than to you, “I’ve got you. I’ll always have you, it’s okay.” 
You don’t want to melt for him, but you do. Even through your ringing ears it’s like your body instinctively hears his whispers when you shouldn’t. The words bring comfort, reminding you that he’ll still protect you even from Sunghoon and what he feels about this situation. Even from your parents, from outsiders, from everything. 
The orgasm feels like it bruises your brain, a throbbing headache coming shortly after when Jake takes on a more gentle persona and pulls his hand from you. He inspects your open cunt for a moment, seeing how wet it is inside for him before it pulses closed and he averts his gaze to his hand. 
Glistening, so wet. You needed that, he thinks. The reminder that he’s the only one who can love you in more ways than you truly need. 
“You did so well.” He compliments, crawling up and over you to wipe those tears with the same hand. 
You don’t move away, if anything you need this comfort now more than anything because you simply don’t know what to feel, or think, or admit right now. You think Jake already knows, he wouldn’t need you to say it simply because he’s always read you like a book. 
“No more pretending you don’t want this.” He says now, in a darker voice. “Even with Sunghoon listening, you moaned my name. I don’t think you remember doing that, do you?”
You cry more, closing your eyes tightly and pretending like Jake’s hand is Sunghoon’s. You really liked Sunghoon, genuinely thought you could have a future with him. Even so, pretending that Jake is him doesn’t bring safety because you almost would prefer it be Jake. A hand you’re so familiar with. 
He had been so awful to you recently, and only now do you realize that…maybe it really was for your own good.
“You don’t need him.” Jake says now, adjusting himself between your legs.“Not when you have me. You know I’ll take care of you.” He continues, slipping his cock deep into your already loosened hole. 
He’s shocked that you still manage to be tight after all of that, but he guesses that’s just how pussies work. Or how yours works, anyway. He knows it more than he knows his own cock at this point, which is insane. 
Feeling him inside of you, so familiar, slightly smaller than Sunghoon– it’s…comforting. The tears that spill from you now are more for missing him than anything. You can’t help it when you wrap your legs around him or throw your arms around his shoulders, shivering and clinging to him like he’s your last line of sanity despite everything about this being entirely insane. 
“Jake–” You moan at how he fucks you, so much softer than with his hand but…normal. Like the first time you ever did this with him. “I really want you but,”
Jake pauses, feeling that same pit in his stomach at how you say those words.
“What you just did to me could ruin my life.” You finally say, still clinging, not at all asking him to stop. “What you’re doing right now, will ruin my life.”
“Don’t be silly. Your life will be ruined without me, baby, you know that, right?” He says, reminding you of who has the power by quickening his hips and pointing his cock directly at your already sensitive g-spot. “You can’t say no to me, you tried and still you want me.”
You nod your head in agreement despite wishing he was wrong. 
“We can’t.” You say to him in a half-groaned whisper. “I’m begging you to stop.” 
If at all, you’re just begging him to stop being what you want. To stop being able to have a hold over you like this. To stop being everything that Sunghoon isn’t and still being the most desirable man in your life. To stop being your step-brother. To stop being a taboo in your life, if only to become someone you’re allowed to need like this. 
“No.” Jake says, unknowing of what you’re actually asking of him. “I’ll never stop.”
With those words, you moan. He’s promising something that neither of you should feel or need, but you accept it. Shocked at the way you feel him inside of you like always, no pain, or lack of feeling from the previous size fucked into you. It’s just…Jake. Intentionally fucking you harder to punish you for words that are actually fighting more for him than against him. 
“Okay.” You whimper, falling silent with your broken voice fading into nothing but cries of the inevitable. 
For all Jake knows, you’re asking him to stop this. What he’s doing to you right now, not for anything else that you meant it for. For your own sake, because you know that after this, you truly may not be able to pull yourself from this fantasy with him. Technically, he’s showing you that he’s willing to hurt you to keep you. To take it from you if that’s what it takes to get what he wants. And that hurts a lot to know, a pain deep within you making you spiral a little more than you ever thought you could.
He’d really go as far as to keep going when you’re crying for him to stop? If just to show you that he…loves you? No, maybe just that he wants this, he wants you. 
You want this, but it’s the fact that he just knows. Even if you say no, even if you beg or plead for him to stop, he’ll just keep going because he knows better than you that you’ll always want him in return. Even if you’re lying to yourself, even if you were able to truly convince yourself that this isn’t at all what you want. Even if it feels like Jake is committing atrocities right now, he knows he’s not. He’s not, even if you say he is. 
And at the end of the day, right now. He truly isn’t. 
You can feel your heart rotting at all that’s lost now. A life with someone normal. A life where you’re normal and can be seen hand in hand with the love of your life as you grocery shop, or get ice cream, or even just take the future dog on a walk. Your dreams are dying, and you can’t stop them. 
You feel a burning pain throughout your body at the force of him now, seemingly trying to fuck your concern away from you. Only now do you open your eyes to look at him, he’s just shapes now. Your tears are messing up the normal clear view you’d have, but you can tell he’s smiling lovingly. 
He doesn’t care that he just ruined your relationship, he doesn’t care that you’re his step-sister, he doesn’t care nor think of how the future could work if he were to keep trying to follow this path, and continue to make you realize you’ll willingly walk down it with him….not when he’s getting this from you. 
Not when he knows that, now at least, he’ll always get what he wants.
You cling harder to him now, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth as you lift to his shoulder and tuck your face there, replacing your lip with his warm and pulsing skin. Jake is pleasantly surprised by this, after all that he did to you, he really thought he’d have to work harder to get these lips to willingly suck on his skin again without him puppeteering you. 
“Yeah?” He turns his face against your forehead as you suck, still crying and tasting the salt from your tears mixed with the saliva you’re drooling onto him. “Sunghoon can’t make you feel this good?” He continues to talk himself up. 
You remain silent as you try to drown out your thoughts with the pleasure he gives instead, feeling the way his normally gentle hands are rough holding you up, feeling the way your body shifts with each thrust up, hearing the way he breathes for you, speaks for you, and moans for you. 
You hate to say you love it right now. Hate that you let your dream of a normal life die so easily. Hate you love him enough to let him do this to you, really. 
“Jake–” You hiccup, exhausted. “I can’t believe you’d go this far.” 
Only in those words do you realize how taboo and…erotic it is. To have a man willing to not only claim you as his own through forcing jealousy on your boyfriend and pain on you, but you guess the borderline sexual assault is another thing. 
It’s not that you’re into it. In fact, you’re terrified of that. But it’s just…the way he knows you is attractive. The way he will protect you from any situation he caused…turns you on, even if he’s the one you need protecting from. God, the way he’ll fuck you through all the lies you tell yourself. 
Shit.
“I’d go further.” He chuckles, out of breath as he chases the expanse of your clenched walls. “Would’ve brought you to his house and fucked you right there at his front door. Let everyone know.”
You shake your head out of fear of that situation at first, and then suddenly find yourself smiling and losing your mind a bit. God, that would be hot if it were like, you know, not something that would get you disowned by not only family, but literally everyone aside from Jake. 
“Should’ve seen his face, baby–” Jake moans just thinking about it, loving that he has what no one else can have. “Said he was disgusted but…I think he was turned on. Really, couldn’t look away from you sucking my dick like that– God,” He cuts himself off by grabbing at you, shoving you back down and into your pillows, both hands running up your shirt and pushing it up to your collarbone. He gropes and pinches at your tits, half of his plush bottom lip caught between his teeth as sweat drips into his eyelashes. 
“Couldn’t tell if he wished he was me–” A sarcastic laugh. “or maybe even you.” His moans continue to mesh with his laughter, now moving one hand to your neck and leaning down to lick against your lips with another pointed thrust. “I’d never fuck anyone better than I’ll fuck you though.”
“Gotta say, if he wanted it bad enough, he’d look pretty choking on it too. Never as pretty as you.” He continues talking, and talking, and talking. 
You don’t really process his words though, or recognize if he’s being truthful or just making shit up, nor do you care. To be fair, there isn’t anything in this world left to care about aside from him now. Not yourself, not Sunghoon, your parents, or anyone out wandering the world right now. 
“Stop–” You moan at the way he rubs his pelvis against your clit with his now, deeper thrusts. “Stop fucking talking about him.”
He smiles wide against your lips in victory, feeling his muscle tense up at you asking to forget about Sunghoon. And so, he listens to you for the first time since you’ve been home, he fucking listens. 
Jake says nothing now, instead he focuses his hips and notes how now, your pussy feels too used. Or maybe his cock is just numb and oversensitive, he’s not sure. It’s not hard really, to reach down and shove three fingers into you alongside his cock, offering extra sensation to both his balls and the underside of his length as he continues to fuck into you with what he can only assume to be a painful stretch. 
His body shivers with an embarrassing moan at that, rolling his eyes back. 
“You hate him?” Jake says, but it sounds more like a plea for you to agree as he chases an orgasm far too fucking close. 
You don’t respond because at this point his words are just there as fluff in your head. You’re more focused on the insecure feeling inside of you at how he’s had to use his hand to help him get off. It...feels so bad knowing that you can’t give him what he wants after all this. After you promised. And, so, you build up the courage to lift quickly, catching him off guard, and hug him around his neck. 
There, his fingers skew slightly, to the point it’s painful for him to keep them in place and he’s forced to pull them back and instead, hold you up in his own hug as he spirals. God, he missed you so much. Look at you now, after trying to deny him, deny yourself of wanting this. You’re bouncing on him like you always have, frantically moving your hips with no rhyme or reason, solely to get him off. 
He lets out a loud moan, not caring if your parents wake up to it. Not caring about anything but the pussy choking his cock out now. The change in position offered a new form of tightness, and he doesn’t need an extra boost of pleasure anymore. Not with you breathing against his mouth like this, still crying, except now it’s like you’re crying because he hasn’t gotten off yet. 
“Yeah, that’s it.” He nods his head, lips playing with yours with each nod of his head as he squeezes his eyes shut. “Fuck, you always know what I like.”
Just like that, all of your insecurity is washed away. You feel him twitch inside of you, and the way his hands nearly bruise you in this hug feels…right. It’s what you need, what you want. 
“He ever cum in you?” Jake pants out, noting the way you aggressively shake your head in an answer. 
And normally, he’d pull out. Normally, there’s a condom involved in this. Not today though, even as you note the familiar sound choking from his throat, and that even more familiar twitch of his cock. You try to pry yourself away from him, palms pressing on his chest as you argue. 
“Jake! Pull out, Let me up!” 
He doesn’t let you though. Instead, he grabs both of your wrists and presses you right back down on the bed, overpowering you through his orgasm and fucking all of that cum right into you. Intentionally, with purpose. 
“No,” He croaks out in a breath, still lost in his orgasm. “I won’t.” 
You try to wiggle away from him still, despite knowing he’s already started cumming. What’s the point now if not just to still have some type of control over your own body? He, again, doesn’t let you, pressing your wrists painfully into your own stomach, forcing you to feel each pulse and spurt of him for the first time through the pressure of his hold.
He’s never done this to you before, then again, This isn’t the same Jake you’re used to no matter how much you try to relate the feelings and love to the Jake you were with last summer. And…you need to lie to yourself right now at how good it feels to have him fuck his cum into you well past his orgasm, because admitting it would be the last thing you could do tonight to really throw you off the deep end. 
He makes you admit it though, still fucking his cock into you regardless of how it’s growing softer and softer by the second. Doing it solely because he knows more cum will drip out as he shrinks back down. He wants to feel each second of your walls clenching, trying to push him out and knowing it never can. 
He holds you down harder now, wincing at his own sensitivity as he plays with himself inside of you, lending pained chuckles and eye rolls with each sound of disgust you make towards him for it. And only after he slips out and can’t manage to fold it back into you does he really look at you. 
Tilting his head with an innocent smile on his face, he releases your hands and shoots his own up to your face, cupping both cheeks before leaning down and kissing you as hard as he can with what little breath he has left. 
“I deserved that.” He says between kisses. “You deserved it.” He sounds slightly irritated saying that part, but his kiss stays gentle and sweet. “You owed me this.”
You’re not sure if he meant any of that, but you find yourself agreeing. 
2K notes · View notes
crystalflygeo · 4 months ago
Text
Kinktober Day 3 - Oviposition ft Dan Heng (Honkai Star Rail)
Soooooooo.... this got out of hand WHEEZE as it always does when it involves dragon eggs. I'm-.... I'm just hopeless atp. Buckle up I'm about to ignore canon and pull a lot of made up shit from thin air for the sake of horny, lmaoooo. Lovingly dedicated to @moraxsthrone
This is how Tang Tang was made//HIT
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At first, you aren’t sure if you heard correctly. 
Dan Heng says nothing but pointedly avoids your gaze with a healthy blush on his cheeks.
“Did you say, uh… maybe I misheard but-” You start.
“Eggs.” Dan Heng repeats. “Dragon eggs, much smaller, of course, but they… could be viable…”
“... Eggs.” You say with a blink. 
Dan Heng sighs. “Yes.” And turns around to stare and interact with a few screens. “According to some ancient records it seems, those who have fully realized their potential as draconic Vidhyadara and manifest the dragon-like characteristics and behaviors, could, in theory, be able to pass on genes and reproduce like our reptile counterparts.” 
He is still not looking at you. Scrolling mindlessly through windows of text and opening and closing tabs. He’s nervous, you know it. 
“Children.” You blurt.
“Yes, I… it’s understandable if you have reservations. There is time to consider, I don’t want you to feel obligated to anything or…”
There’s a bit of hope in his voice, your heart warms up and flutters. Children. It’s been such an accepted impossibility in your relationship. You’ve entertained the idea of adoption someday. Now there could be a chance?
You just never imagined it would involve getting railed and apparently pumped full of-
You inhale, close your eyes, and decide to speak before you think too much about it. “Alright, but you have a lot to explain.” 
------------------
And so, he explains. In excruciating detail. 
Dan Heng seems to be pondering aloud just as much as he is trying to explain the whole process. All an educated guess, though, as he puts it. You’re working with estimations and are not sure how to feel about that but he’s put an incredible amount of research into it all and that, at least, soothes you.
Over the years you’ve seen Dan Hang in many different ways and dealt with your fair share of… interesting Vidyadhara traits. Mates? Good. Funky dragon anatomy? Very good. Being protective and territorial over you? Yes. But eggs… will definitely be new. 
Your back hits the mattress and you shiver nervously, only in your underwear. Dan Heng kisses you softly, his hand cupping your cheek. Like this his eyes have an almost ethereal glow and his long dark hair is unbound falling down his back. Teal horns crown his head, and though they aren’t new you can’t help but be amazed by them every time.
“How do you feel? Are you sure about this?” He asks tenderly. 
You’re trying hard not to think too much about your previous discussions, sneaking a glance at his underwear out of the corner of your eye, or more accurately, at the large bulge in it. 
You lick your lips nervously and nod “Yeah… yeah, sure.” 
He sighs and smooths a hand along your shoulder. “If you have changed your mind-”
“No, no! I haven’t I promise I just… I’m nervous, there’s a lot to consider and…” You stare at him for a moment and remember, he is walking this path with you, just as lost and nervous. “I love you.” You smile reassuringly. “I love you so much. I want this.”
His breath comes out in a woosh and he leans forward again to kiss you. 
It’s passionate, demanding, his tongue tangles with yours and explores your mouth and you groan, your body melting under him, hands roaming each other’s bodies. You see his teal dragon tail manifesting, swaying about excitedly before curling around your ankle possessively.     
He massages your breast, pinching a nipple between his fingers to bring it to a stiff peak, you whine and arch your back, he takes the chance to make short work of your bra and toss it somewhere along the dark room before your arms curl around his neck once more to pull him down into another kiss.
His hips buck into yours and he moans. Even through the fabric you can already tell this time something is different. 
And honestly you can’t wait. 
Your fingers hook at the edge of his underwear, teasing, and start to pull down, Dan Heng groans and helps you discard his last piece of clothing, your panties quickly joining after and this is it. You stare.
Not just his gorgeous, thick cock you’ve come to love so much but two. Two.
One is relatively normal, his shape and girth familiar despite the clear draconic hue from his dark uncut tip and soft ridges. The other slightly larger, with a pointier tip, not as strange as Dan Heng had made it out to be. The Vidyadhara had been all shy and hesitant about it, both out of embarrassment and perhaps because he was afraid it might scare you off. 
Instead, desire pools between your legs. Oh, how you want.
“A-Alright, so first I should-!!” Any other words are lost in a strangled moan as you reach out and wrap your hand around the unfamiliar length. It’s hot in your palm, thick and firm. Dan Heng hisses as you tentatively jerk it a bit, squeezing around the tip, it’s spade-shaped and neatly tapered, perfect for reaching deep and pressing on just the right spots. 
Or so you assume, won’t know until you try.
He bucks into your hand with a grunt and you stare fascinated at the leaking tip, before either of you can process it, you dark forward and lap at it. “Hng!” He tosses his head back and his hand flies to grip at your hair. 
It tastes salty, slightly more viscous and you can’t get enough of it, you gingerly kiss at the tip and mouth at it before closing your lips around the crown, it’s thick in your mouth, your hand teasing the rest of it. 
You stare up at Dan Heng, his eyes shut tight, brow furrowed and face flushed all the way to the tips of his pointy ears, he’s tense and shivering, clearly holding back from rutting into the wet warmth of your throat. 
So, you attempt to take him deeper, moaning for good measure so the vibrations drive him insane, and you’re rewarded with more pleasured noises that make your pussy clench.
“My love… w-wait-” He gasps, you run your tongue along the underside of his length. “Fuck-!” Ohhh he’s losing his composure, his grip on your hair tightening. When your other hand curls around his unattended cock, thumb swirling at the tip, he snaps. “Enough.”
You pull off with a wet pop, licking your lips and catching your breath. 
Dan Heng pushes you back with a hand and you follow easily, back hitting the mattress and spreading your legs eagerly for him to slot in. He reaches for a pillow and places it under your hips, raising the slightly, his tail now curls around your thigh. 
Your stares cross, love and lust mixing. 
“Are you ready?” He asks, his thumb rubbing over your entrance, finding you dripping wet. 
“Yes, Aeons, yes…”
He leans down to kiss you again, tender this time, there’s a sense of intimacy that warms you. How you love this man, this dragon. The way he dotes over you, the way he breathes in your scent and kisses you and holds you close, tender. 
He sinks two fingers inside you and you whimper into the kiss. He works you open slowly, reverent, pulling in and out, stretching them a bit and adding a third. You’re squirming, desperate and worked up. Nails dragging on his back and shoulders. “Dan Heng please…” 
He kisses at your neck, nips the skin there with his fangs. “Be patient, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. Please, just put it in. Breed me.” 
He stops, you hear a little growl, ragged breath on your collarbone, and suddenly the fingers are gone. You barely have time to miss them when that thick pointy cockhead is pressing against you. 
Then it sinks in, the glide slow and gentle with Dan Heng’s careful movements.  
And oh, oh- you feel him stretch you. Thick and long and so, so hot. It spears you open in the most delicious way, rubbing at your insides as he pulls out ever so slightly before fucking in deeper with slow rolls of his hips.
You toss your head back and moan. You feel so full, deliciously complete. The draconic cock settling deep inside as Dan Heng bottoms out, his balls flush against your taint and the second cock dribbling precum everywhere on your thigh and navel.  
You take a moment or two to settle, both of you, and then he starts moving. Dan Heng pulls back and rolls into you languidly, slow and deep, testing the waters. 
“So good for me… so warm and… thigh-!” He murmurs against your skin, pressing kisses anywhere he can reach. You keen, arching off the mattress and meeting his every thrust.
The air is thick and heavy, he presses as close as he can against you, your legs lock behind his back as he gradually speeds up. Your thoughts are fuzzy, blissed-out. The room is a cacophony of moans and whimpers and the sound of skin on skin. 
“I need- please- Dan Heng-!!”
The drag of his cock sets you alight, every nerve stimulated, pleasure building and building…
“I’m close” He rasps out. You’re about to tell him to come deep inside as he always does and then you remember.
“Oh.”
Dan Heng’s grip tightens in the sheets, his thrusts slow to a crawl and you suddenly feel a subtle bulge pressing against your hole. “T-that’s-” You say breathlessly. 
An egg.
He presses his forehead against yours and rolls his hips a little more insistent, trying to ease it in “Careful now…relax for me.” 
You’re trying but the pressure is intense and you’re already so full of thick cock. How can you take more? You whimper.
“I’m-”
“You can do it.”
A dragon egg, a little dragon baby. A tiny piece of you and him joining to create something wonderful. This is why you’re doing this. 
“Almost there” His voice is a soothing balm, con contradictory to the way he ruts into you, pushing your limits. But the way his teal eyes almost glow, pupils pulled to slits, flushed and panting but so determined, staring at you with so much love. You bite your lip and cant your hips, muffling your cries as his cock slips deeper with every thrust. 
It feels like an eternity when the ovipositor slips back all the way inside, and you cry out.
Dan Heng’s thumb traces your clit and while he can’t really pull out, he fucks into you with a nice deep grind.
“Dan Heng-!” You whisper, nothing more than a debauched breathless mess. “Dan Heng, Dan Heng, Dan Heng…”
The coil in your gut snaps and you come with a scream, tears springing to your eyes and your walls fluttering around his length, easing the egg deep inside you. He fucks a few more thrusts into you and then makes a noise you never heard from him before, a sort of choked growl.
Then, he stills.
You spend a few moments catching your breath and Dan Heng nuzzles into you, kissing away your tears as you lie a full, overstimulated, flushed mess. 
“Bear with me just a little longer.” He pants, pulling back a a little to hover over you. You groan, having almost forgotten about this particular step and the promise of his other cock, the one more familiar to you. 
He eases the ovipositor out of you slowly. The egg vaguely feeling heavy and round in your womb. You can’t think straight as Dan Heng shifts against you, his other cock resting against your entrance before easily sinking in, smaller than the first, bottoming out immediately. 
You sigh.
“I… I won’t last long.” He admits.
“Breed me.” You repeat. “Our egg will take.”
It seems like the right incentive as he starts fucking into you in a frenzied pace, pressing and pulling at your insides. You sob and squirm, uselessly trying to match his rhythm. He growls, groans and tips over surprisingly quickly, filling you up with sticky cum. 
Your body sags, spent, aching, full, and so utterly satisfied. He stays lodged in deep and doesn’t move. You both take a moment to come down from the intense high. 
Dan Heng slides a hand along your tummy, smoothing the skin there and feeling the very small subtle bulge there. “Mine. All mine… both of you.” He claims.  
You place your hand on his and smile weakly.
He finally pulls out, making you groan at the emptiness, and maneuvers you both onto your sides, spooning you. He brushes at your hair and kisses the back of your neck, whispering sweet nothings “You did so well. I love you.” His hand rests on the soft curve of your stomach. The barest signs of a bump that could be easily missed. “Rest.” 
You sigh deeply, content. “Love you too…” Comes out slightly slurred. And so, you rest.
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art · 9 months ago
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Creator Spotlight: @mimimar
Hi! I’m Michelle (Mimimar), an illustrator born and raised in Venezuela, currently based in Italy. I enjoy making colorful illustrations that reflect the things I love: fairy tales, fantasy, tenderness and queer (especially sapphic) stories. Occasionally, I also make paper dolls, comics and animatics. I have a lot of interest in book illustration and I’m currently developing my own stories that I hope to share as an author-illustrator someday!
Check out our interview with Michelle below!
Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?
I always enjoyed drawing when I was a kid, but it only became a hobby that I did almost every day when I was around 11. At first I only used traditional mediums, but I decided to make a serious effort to learn how to draw digitally when I was 15, and once I got the hang of it I never stopped!
I didn’t go to art school so all of my learning was done through studying the tutorials and resources that other artists generously share on the internet and lots of practice / trial and error.
How do you want to evolve as a creator?
I want to do many things but what I want to do the most right now is work on books! I want to make art for other authors’ stories and also my own stories as an author-illustrator. I want to grow as a storyteller and create art and stories that will really resonate with people emotionally. I’m always striving to improve my skills as well.
I also really love dolls, so working on doll box art or as a doll designer is something I would love to do someday. I actually have been designing paper dolls on my Patreon for the past few months, it’s been a fun project that is still ongoing right now!
What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?
Probably using a lot of purple! It’s my favorite color so I find myself using it a lot. If I can find a way to sneak a little bit of purple into an illustration or a character design then I will.
Congratulations on finishing your Ivy Comic! Did the outcome turn out like how you expected or were there some unexpected bumps along the way?
Thank you! It’s a project that I worked on very slowly in between other art because I wanted to really take my time with every spread and make each of them a fully detailed illustration. I thumbnailed the full comic before starting but I kept changing the sketch for the final spread until the very end! Overall I’m really proud of the end result. I sprinkled a lot of hidden details in every page that I hope some of the readers will notice. For example: the meanings of the flowers in each page represent what the characters are feeling in that moment, and the colors of their wardrobe become gradually lighter as the story progresses to represent their emotions, as well as the changing of seasons.
We’ve noticed that you have created some amazing cover art for TGCF. Is there another series you would like to do something similar with? 
That was another passion project that took some time to complete. Initially, I didn’t intend for them to be specifically covers, it was just a series of illustrations based on the 5 books/main arcs of TGCF. But since they were well-received and I had people telling me they wish they could use them as covers for their books, I decided to rework them into dust jackets for the english translation of TGCF!
I haven’t thought of any other specific series but I love doing cover art so maybe I’ll do something similar again in the future!
What’s your favorite part of your style? Why?
I’ve heard from other people that there’s a delicate quality to my art, this is something that I like a lot! I like pretty things, fairytales and vibrant colors. I think all of these things probably reflect in the art I make as well.
If there is one thing you want your audience to remember about your work, what would it be?
I hope that they remember how it made them feel. Feelings and colors are the two things I give priority to in my work. Most of the time I like depicting tenderness, softness and emotional intimacy. If that could reach the viewer and stay with them it would make me very happy. 
I make a lot of art with queer (mainly sapphic) themes because they’re the kind of stories I personally like and want to see more of, so whenever people tell me that my art has helped them in their journey to discover and accept themselves, or that they see themselves and their partner in my art, it is always extremely meaningful to me. When art that I made to give myself comfort can provide comfort for others, no matter how small, it reminds me once again that despite any hardships art is genuinely worth pursuing.
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
So many artists! To name a few:  I love @sakizo’s amazing eye for fashion and detail,  @paneeps’ gorgeous style and striking colors,  the sweetness of @bevsi’s art,  @vickisigh’s pretty colors and concepts,  @idledee’s warm and heartfelt art,  @littlestpersimmon’s dreamy wonderful art,  and @loish has been an inspiration for as long as I can remember.
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Michelle! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @mimimar.
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cintiri · 2 months ago
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I've read like all 4 docs on ao3 about SY and SJ sharing a body, and I'm soooo not normal about this concept oh my God. So, it's time to ramble about my take on the concept, of course.
Most things I have read have SY transmigrate at his usual date, but... What if he didn't? What if he transmigrated when SJ was a child on the streets?
For the purposes of this, the person who has the most control of the body is based around soul strength, willpower, and collaboration between souls.
In the beginning, SY has very low soul strength, since he just straight up died, but being a child, SJ's is not much better. They both have obscene amounts of willpower, see canon. And at the beginning? Oh, SJ does NOT want to collaborate.
SY hasn't really gotten the whole "baby scum villain" thing yet, and thinks his soul has been glued to a particularly annoying street kid, so he tries to be patient with SJ, but it's not easy! Holy shit, this kid is a turbo brat who hates him! He is constantly threatening to exorcize SY! Like, kid, you can't exorcize me, you're eight. But SY does end up being useful at times, pointing out danger, reading signs that SJ can't, using his adult knowledge to help him as best he can. By the time they get to the Qiu manor, SJ grudgingly trusts and is maybe attached to his weird ghost hanger-on.
And then the Qiu manor hits. It's... Bad. Really bad. Qi-Ge is gone, hopefully to come back to them someday, but someday is not now, and they need to survive the day. Shen Yuan can't get over the fact that this is just a kid, that all of this is happening to a child. He is an adult, maybe he's not the most responsible adult, or the best person to handle this situation, but damn it SY has to do something.
The first time Shen Yuan takes over completely, it's during a beating in the first week. Before, even if SY had some control of the body, SJ was usually able to yank it back at least partially when he wanted to. He was aware of what was going on. But this time, Shen Jiu feels the first few strikes hit his back before Shen Yuan bubbles up, wrapping around him and pulling him down into blissful oblivion.
When Shen Jiu wakes up, it's over, and Shen Yuan is using some meager supplies he got from god knows where to tend to their wounds. Shen Jiu is scared, he didn't know Shen Yuan could take over that completely, but he's also... Relieved. And confused.
"Why did you take over then? If you really could steal my body, why didn't you do it earlier?"
"You didn't deserve that, Shen Jiu. I- how could I see that and not try and help? Not try and protect you?"
Shen Jiu froze. And then, slowly, started crying. Almost immediately SY starts fussing, asking if their wounds hurt too badly, if he needs him to dull the pain more. SJ sniffles, wiping his eyes, and asks; "More?"
Shen Yuan never explains that, but as SJ goes through the Qiu manor, he realizes that he is absolutely not in as much pain as he really should be. It's easier to bear when the pain is shared between the two of them.
The first time that Qiu Jianluo realizes something is off is during one of his lessons. As the brush is placed in Shen Jiu's hands, the angry, venomous child behind a mask of fear fades away, and he is instead facing calm indifference. The characters are perfect, every one of them, even the ones which there is no possible way Shen Jiu should have been able to know.
This pattern continues. Shen Jiu knows things he shouldn't. He is abnormally good at talking circles around guards and other servants, confusing and manipulating them enough to evade Qiu Jianluos summons in ways that couldn't possibly be his fault, orchestrating many of their confrontations with Qiu Haitang around as protection.
Shen Jiu is a good actor, he's smart, he's quick, but he isn't a fully grown adult master poser like our Shen Yuan is. Shen Yuan, number one rules lawyer and actor, is incredibly good at driving Qiu Jianluo up the wall without him being able to retaliate, and when he does manage to get in a beating, SJ/SY is not nearly as responsive to the pain as he should be, and heals faster than he should.
This is because the lovely new flowers that Qiu Haitang has planted in the garden at SJs kind suggestion are a PIDW plant that provides accelerated healing.
Eventually, it's too much, and Qiu Jianluo KNOWS something is up. He calls a rogue cultivator by the name of Wu Yanzi in to investigate the problem, and Wu Yanzi finds, and exorcises it. Shen Jiu is terrified and panicked, and Wu Yanzi, who had seen Shen Jiu's high spiritual potential, places Shen Yuan into a spirit trapping pouch and tells Shen Jiu to burn the Qiu manor to the ground and bring him as much money and jewelry as possible if he wants his little ghost back.
So the Qiu Manor burns, and Shen Jiu joins Wu Yanzi, significantly less willingly this time. Qi-Ge is nowhere to be seen, and Shen Yuan isn't there to save him anymore.
Shen Jiu supposes he will have to save himself.
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punkpandapatrixk · 3 months ago
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🌉Your Exciting Urban Love Story ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
Life’s full of twists and turns, and we don’t often know beforehand the kinds of encounters that could change our lives forever. Before events actually take place, do you know if you’re being specifically guided towards a special someone? Have you ever thought of that? Some kind of an unexpected, but destined, rendezvous? Have you ever felt the pull? 🤪⭐️🤯
‘That day, that time, at that place; if I hadn’t met you, we would’ve remained eternally strangers.’ – Suddenly, A Love Story by Oda Kazumasa
series: Friends (2002)
deck-bottom: Queen of Swords, Red Alchemist (John Dee) & Priestess of Contemplation
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Heartfelt Old-School Romance
‘Love, I know that someday real soon, you’ll be right next to me. Holding me so tight, so I will always be yours. Although we can’t be together now, remember I am here for you, and I know you’re there for me.’ – One (OST Friends 2002) by Lee Soo Young
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unexpected rendezvous? – XIX The Sun
OMG this Pile has the strongest old school vibe. It feels very romantic in the sense of what you’d expect from it as depicted in movies, books and other forms of literature XD It’s open, honest, straightforward, without any pretences. This means your Destined Person is likely to show interest from the get go and make it clear to you that they’ve got intentions~ It could also be the other way around, although it’s more likely that you both share this mutual attraction from the start <3
It's very likely you meet your Destined Person during the daytime, but it could also mean outdoors or basically, where there’s a bright light for some reason LOL It’s a cheery situation and this rendezvous could happen as an ‘accident’. Like you’ll think there’s no way you could be meeting someone this important in the manner you find yourselves in! It’s just crazy! Probably even embarrassing for one or both of you XD
But, you’ll be glad the ‘accident’ happened at all. Without this tiny hiccup in the grand stream of Fate, you’d probably never crisscross each other’s paths. And what a delight it is to have met someone so similar to yourself! Someone who also lights up the darkest corners of your heart. Someone so positive and helpful and kind, and possibly also wise ;P Making you feel…what an aspiration of a person <3
ah, courtship! – 6 of Cups Rx
Your Destined Person is totally not an ex or anybody you’ve known in the past. Could also be someone from a foreign land (or you could be the foreigner in town). And yet, in spite of these immediate differences, you really do find yourselves to be very similar! Like two peas in a pod kind of similar! Which is so fascinating especially if you’re visibly different by nationality, race, custom and some such.
And yet, here you are sharing similar philosophies, taste in music, aesthetic, etc. Maybe even some past struggles with personal development, too. There are so many similarities shared between you that makes being with each other feel like a homecoming. You are awash by a sense of renewal of the spirit or of the psyche hahah This ‘foreigner’ is really just me in a different body~! And this whole thing motivates the both of you to become better people in general, but also for each other <3
There’s a genuine sense of appreciation for each other’s Souls, talents, skills and life’s many downfalls and triumphs. You both really connect on a mental level but especially on emotional and spiritual levels. And it’s such a beautiful thing because, all this time, with the people who seem more similar to yourself, you’ve never felt a connection this deep yet effortless. But this stranger… You view the world with eyes that seem to be made of the same cosmic material~
adoration ON – 4 of Cups Rx
Smile, baby~! Because your Destined Person’s smile literally brings sunshine and calm into your Life. If you get to meet them often, every day is a cosy day of fun and meaningful conversations. You see, up until the point juuust before you meet your Destined Person, Life could’ve gotten quite boring, stagnant, or you could’ve been quite disillusioned with your routine or the stream of events you were used to operating with. But when this person popped into your Life, it’s like being reborn in their inspiration.
Surely it’s Love? This much adoration. And how much you feel stronger and more excited about what could be next for you if you keep going? Surely, it’s something such as Love that could move you in this way? Yes, your Destined Person adores you in a mature and sensible way. They think very highly of you, so when you feel seen by someone just as capable, as motivated, someone so strong and positive, you can’t help but view yourself that way, too. Awesome by association, you know? :D
Their inspiration makes you go for a levelling up! That in itself—them adoring and cheering on you like that—becomes the fuel that makes Life full of wonders again! In essence, theirs is a Love that nurtures your Soul just by them having their heart connected to yours~ <3
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💗
what signs are they receiving about you? – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Innocence
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Business Partners Turned Power Couple?!
‘I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on me. Did you ever know that I had mine on you? So let me come to you, close as I wanna be. Close enough for me to feel your heart beating fast.’ – Final Fantasy VIII (Eyes on Me) by Faye Wong
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unexpected rendezvous? – Ace of Pentacles
Ah! This the power couple Pile! XD Chances are very high that you could meet your Destined Person at the workplace. This could also be a business partner of yours if you already have a business of your own. This could also mean meeting your Destined Person during a business event, trip or meeting. Basically, your unexpected rendezvous with your Destined Person has something to do with ‘work’. For some, this could also mean meeting your Destined Person at a ‘charity event’ if that’s something that’s deeply important to you <3
You could also meet your Destined Person when doing some ‘charity work’ such as helping the less fortunate or feeding the homeless or even when building a house for somebody else! So, this is a really cute Pile in which on the day you meet, you kinda intuitively know that something special is likely to occur…but you’re not quite sure what it could be. It’s just…such a good, cheery day and your heart is very wide and open. It’s very possible this occurs outside when the sun is out, too~
Even if you’re the type that’s been thinking and manifesting your Destined Person, this sudden meeting will still be very unexpected, possibly because you’ll have forgotten all about this reading LOL On the day you meet, there’ll be other people present and you won’t be at your own house or anywhere near it. Basically, there’s this ‘work’ vibe so you’ll definitely be working on something at some other place that’s not your house or theirs, though it could be somebody else’s house nevertheless😉
ah, courtship! – Queen of Wands Rx
You probably have gotten this from other readings as well but your Destined Person isn’t your usual ‘type’ if you have any. Like you normally wouldn’t fall for a person like this, whether it’s their face, race(?), height, age, or overall style and vibe. Even if you never declared a type, your friends could tell that you had a tendency to fall for a certain look, age group or behaviour LMAO But your Destined Person is kinda totally on the outside of those preferences… AT FIRST GLANCE!
Your Destined Person is without a doubt extremely attractive, but what really draws you to them is how pure and honest they are. It’s giving, ‘With that kind of a face you could be the smoothest criminal and still get away with most things, so how are you so, so… good?’ They may have a look that gets people misunderstanding them because they’re just that attractive, but your Destined Person is really lovely on the inside. Their heart is kind and tender, and this is the type of person who genuinely wants True Love <3 They got no game.
Upon closer investigation you’ll learn that your Destined Person has a character that’s everything you’ve ever dreamt and prayed for. You’ll see how this person opens up to you very quickly because they themselves can’t deny their attraction to you. They’ll be all over you very fast but they got no game on you. That’s not what they wanna do with you. This is a person, who, when they hold you, they hold all of you in their embrace to heal you and make you safe and very happy. Quite gallant, indeed! <3
adoration ON – 3 of Cups
It’s obvious to all of your friends/colleagues that there’s something unusual going on between you and your Destined Person XD The attraction you feel towards one another is undeniable! It can’t be hidden, especially from your Destined Person’s side. Their friends will notice just how different they are when looking at you, talking to you, just being with you. There’s a kind of cheerfulness that seems to shine only when you’re around; and it’s obvious to anyone who knows you both that there’s Love here.
Due to ‘work-related circumstances’ you may not become a couple right away—in spite of the attraction—but everybody at the workplace is whispering, and possibly even gossiping, speculating if there’s something more going on between you two LMAO For the most part, most people are SUPER SUPPORTIVE of you two. There’s just… something quite pure and innocent in the way you treat each other. You two adore each other in the softest, sweetest manner. And that’s such a breath of fresh air—aspirational, even.
As a means to get to know each other, your Destined Person is likely to hang out at ‘innocent’ places with you. You could have lunch breaks together quite a lot hahah They could accompany you to a café; grab a baguette at a boulangerie with you; run errands ordained by your bosses; and other activities that seem work-related and unromantic that could potentially turn accidentally romantic by some higher power XD Well, maybe that Higher Power is really just your intent😉
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💙
what signs are they receiving about you? – Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Luck
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Unexpected Love After a Total Heartbreak
‘The miracle of our rendezvous changed the colour of my tears. You make me feel brand new and I wanna Love that’s brand new. I don’t worry about the dark night where I can’t see the Cosmos because I can see you. You are my Shinin’ Star and I wanna be your Shinin’ Star.’ – La La La Love Song by Kubota Toshinobu
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unexpected rendezvous? – Queen of Cups Rx
Some time in the future, you’ll have your heart broken by someone who’s irresponsible—prolly downright callous and even narcissistic. The whole experience is very likely to break you apart, leaving you traumatised and may even find it difficult to trust again. In some ways, you could be questioning your worth, wondering why nobody loved you the way you wanted.
‘I asked for snuggles, but all I got are struggles…!’ kind of frustration LMAO In many ways, you could’ve given up on the idea of love and romance. You’d given so much of yourself but got nothing in return—if anything, you got garbage and mistreatment in return! So, it’s likely you’d decide to take this time for self-reflection and building a connection with yourself. But that instead is the magical part!
On the way towards healing and loving yourself, very IMMEDIATELY the Universe sends you a match who’ll answer all of your prayers! By ‘immediately’, I really mean immediately! Like, straight away you will meet your Destined Person to replace all of the heartache you’ve sustained up until that point in your Life! Dang! The manifestation works way too fast it may take you by surprise! <3
ah, courtship! – VI The Lovers
Well, yes, for some of you reading this, the manifestation of your Destined Person could be in the flesh immediately. For some of you tho, this could mean ‘meeting’ your Destined Person in the spirit first! It could be that you begin to wake up to the notion of Soulmates (even Twin Flames, hopefully the real notions of it, if you are a Twin Flame indeed). If you’re meeting your Destined Person in the spirit first…
Their aenergy could come to haunt you regularly in the forms of…let’s see:
angel numbers (this could get persistent!); repeatedly seeing names, numbers and symbols that make you wonder if these signs are related to their identity in the physical realm; coming across memes, quotes and tarot readings online that seem to redirect your attention to this notion of a higher romance—a spiritual kind of Love; aaand receiving messages while seeing glimpses of them in your dreams~
For those that’ll manifest immediately in the physical, you’ll notice—immediately—that your Destined Person is the complete opposite of whoever caused your heartbreak in the first place. That in itself will be very healing for you because, immediately, you’ll believe in Love again—maybe even in the goodness of the Lord, as the religious ones would say LMAO
Basically, your Destined Person is like a mirror-Soul to yours and by this point in your spiritual evolution, you’ll have been able to tell what’s trauma bonding and what’s a real empathetic bond based on kindness and mutual compassion ^o<
adoration ON – Knight of Pentacles
Oh! Seriously, let me just say first that you need to watch or at least find clips of Long Vacation drama on YouTube. Your Destined Person’s aenergy feels quite similar to the main guy, Sena. Very kind and caring, responsible but shy while being quite a tough and stubborn male character LMAO Your Destined Person feels very much like this part of Sena’s personality. He has a lot of compassion for the people around him but especially you, after knowing what kind of bullshit you’ve had to brave through all alone T.Tv
In many ways, they respect you a lot for your strength and courage! They feel like they could learn a lot from you. As much as they admire you in this way, they also want to be the person who babies you—they want to be allowed to take care of you. They will seriously, and carefully, endeavour to make you feel safe, nurtured, cared for…they just…really, really want to keep you safe, feeling secure in the connection. They want you to trust them wholeheartedly and will show through cute little actions how dependable they are. They will plan cute dates with you, all for you to simply have a good time <3
This person is the type that fantasises about having a Life with you, and they’re serious enough, responsible enough to truly plan everything out. Something in you—something very cute in you—motivates them to become a bigger, stronger, more dependable version of themselves! Even if you identified as a demure character and your Destined Person were the more cheerful one, they’d still think of you as the Sunshine in their Life~☀️
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻🧡
what signs are they receiving about you? – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Fertility
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